Dear Future Husband,
Do you ever feel like you become the worst version of yourself? There are moments that you hear yourself complaining or whining or gossiping and then you think to yourself 'what am I doing'? That you wish that you could retract that statement or snide comment that has just exposed the ugliness that you have tried to keep hidden within? But that darkness refuses to stay hidden. You always know that it is there and it's a constant struggle to make sure that the light is what others see and not the worst part of yourself. During these times it's like I am watching myself through a window and hearing the words coming from my mouth and wanting to yell "Stop!". How could I say such mean things like that about someone? How could I ever complain about the blessings that God has given me because I think things should be a certain way, more specifically my way? I know you know what I am talking about; it's the scenarios that you constantly replay in your head of how you would react differently or what you would say differently if that specific situation were to present itself again.
As I sit here in my living room contemplating one of these scenarios, I have been pondering the purpose behind all of these times. I have come to realize that it is during times of reflection like this that I start to realize how much I truly need God and His Forgiveness and Grace and Mercy to live out my daily life. If I don't have anything that I am struggling with like a temptation or a hard situation, it is so easy for me to believe that I am capable of living apart from God and that He is just a lifeline when I get into some trouble. I truly believe that these situations are designed to make us aware (once again) of our complete and utter need for a daily reliance on God.
Anyways all that to say, I am praying for you today that you are seeking God every single day and leaning on Him every step of the way. I hope that whatever you are currently going through you are turning to Him for all the strength that you need instead of your own. I pray that you think before you speak and only use your words to build others up and not tear them down. I pray that you would be a huge blessing to everyone you come into contact with every single day. And finally I pray your entire life would point others to God and glorify Him!
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
Thursday, June 15, 2017
Thursday, June 8, 2017
Letter #14: Enlarging Our View of God
Dear Future Husband,
Lately, I've been thinking about God and how I am guilty of making Him into something that I can fathom and imagine. Something... more manageable and finite for my mind to be able to comprehend. But God was never meant to be understood or comprehended by our human minds. When we make Him into something smaller then we are neither giving Him the credit that He deserves nor acknowledging the power that He has.
So this week I've been praying for you and I that our current view of God would be expanded. I have even dared to pray "Lord, surprise us!" I am always scared to pray these kinds of prayers because God delights in answering them and revealing more of Himself to me. The thing is that they don't always come in a gentle way; they typically come to me as a big slap upside the head because, otherwise, I am usually too stubborn or too blind to see what God is trying to show me. But I felt the nudging of the Holy Spirit towards this particular prayer this week. So, rather reluctantly I must admit, I obeyed. I pray that He surprises you with the way in which He shows up in your life and that you would be constantly on the lookout for ways in which He is moving and revealing more of Himself to you. Also, I pray that both of us will be looking into God's Word for clues as to His character in order to find the correct view of God.
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
Lately, I've been thinking about God and how I am guilty of making Him into something that I can fathom and imagine. Something... more manageable and finite for my mind to be able to comprehend. But God was never meant to be understood or comprehended by our human minds. When we make Him into something smaller then we are neither giving Him the credit that He deserves nor acknowledging the power that He has.
So this week I've been praying for you and I that our current view of God would be expanded. I have even dared to pray "Lord, surprise us!" I am always scared to pray these kinds of prayers because God delights in answering them and revealing more of Himself to me. The thing is that they don't always come in a gentle way; they typically come to me as a big slap upside the head because, otherwise, I am usually too stubborn or too blind to see what God is trying to show me. But I felt the nudging of the Holy Spirit towards this particular prayer this week. So, rather reluctantly I must admit, I obeyed. I pray that He surprises you with the way in which He shows up in your life and that you would be constantly on the lookout for ways in which He is moving and revealing more of Himself to you. Also, I pray that both of us will be looking into God's Word for clues as to His character in order to find the correct view of God.
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
Friday, June 2, 2017
Letter #13: Sabbath rest and prayer
Dear Future Husband,
This whole week this has been on my mind repeatedly to pray for you that you know and experience Sabbath rest and also know the intimacy with God that comes from prayer. Sabbath rest is much more than simply taking a day off from work or just going to church on Sundays. It is allowing body, mind and most importantly soul to refocus on God and what is important. Rest...What a simple word and so often overlooked because we are too busy doing other good things that we forget that this isn't just a good idea or an afterthought, it is a part of the Ten Commandments. It obviously was so important to God that He commanded that we do it. He even modeled it for us after He got done creating the whole world. So why am I so guilty of neglecting to do it? I can't answer that question to be honest because all I see are pathetic excuses when I try. But I do know that because I neglect this practice of Sabbath rest then I am in this constant state of exhaustion that no amount of sleep can cure. So I've been praying for you and for myself all week that we would learn to take this commandment seriously and actually take a Sabbath rest weekly not just when it is "convenient" for us. And I pray that this habit that we are creating now will carry into our marriage.
I have also been praying this past week for your prayer life. As I have been doing this 40 day prayer challenge, I have discovered an intimacy that I always knew was missing from my relationship with God, but never knew exactly how to make that happen. I have urges now to spend time in prayer and get to know God better. It is incredible to me to have this kind of relationship with God or that it was possible. For so long I have talked to everyone else but God about my problems and now lately all I have been forced through different circumstances to talk directly to God first and not just as an afterthought. Oh I pray that you are experiencing this sweet, intimate connection with God through prayer! I desire for us to, individually first and then together, become prayer warriors. I see this in my parent's marriage and that's what I want for ours. Prayer changes things and I sincerely believe that.
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
This whole week this has been on my mind repeatedly to pray for you that you know and experience Sabbath rest and also know the intimacy with God that comes from prayer. Sabbath rest is much more than simply taking a day off from work or just going to church on Sundays. It is allowing body, mind and most importantly soul to refocus on God and what is important. Rest...What a simple word and so often overlooked because we are too busy doing other good things that we forget that this isn't just a good idea or an afterthought, it is a part of the Ten Commandments. It obviously was so important to God that He commanded that we do it. He even modeled it for us after He got done creating the whole world. So why am I so guilty of neglecting to do it? I can't answer that question to be honest because all I see are pathetic excuses when I try. But I do know that because I neglect this practice of Sabbath rest then I am in this constant state of exhaustion that no amount of sleep can cure. So I've been praying for you and for myself all week that we would learn to take this commandment seriously and actually take a Sabbath rest weekly not just when it is "convenient" for us. And I pray that this habit that we are creating now will carry into our marriage.
I have also been praying this past week for your prayer life. As I have been doing this 40 day prayer challenge, I have discovered an intimacy that I always knew was missing from my relationship with God, but never knew exactly how to make that happen. I have urges now to spend time in prayer and get to know God better. It is incredible to me to have this kind of relationship with God or that it was possible. For so long I have talked to everyone else but God about my problems and now lately all I have been forced through different circumstances to talk directly to God first and not just as an afterthought. Oh I pray that you are experiencing this sweet, intimate connection with God through prayer! I desire for us to, individually first and then together, become prayer warriors. I see this in my parent's marriage and that's what I want for ours. Prayer changes things and I sincerely believe that.
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
Saturday, May 27, 2017
Letter #12: Weddings and Friendships
Dear Future Husband,
Today was my cousin's wedding and I was flooded with a mix of emotions. One, I'm so happy for my cousin as he found a best friend to spend the rest of his life with. Two, I was sad that you weren't there to be my plus one (that sounds nice to have a plus one to invite to things) and meet some of my extended relatives. Three, it just made me think a lot about marriage in general and our wedding day.
But, honestly, the thing that stood out the most to me was how it made me think about friendship. And this is what I prayed for you today. That you know the importance of surrounding yourself with friends who are there for you and who know how to encourage you in your walk with God and who aren't afraid of calling you out when you are heading down the wrong path. We all need those people in our lives who will challenge us, make us better people, inspire us to pursue our dreams, encourage us when we need it the most, and make us laugh so hard we cry. I pray that you have such wise and caring mentors and friends in your life right now!
I pray that as you grow older you have also discovered how to be a good friend. That is just as important if not more so than having good friends. I want you to be my best friend and partner in crime! This is one of my biggest wishes and desires for you, my future husband. As we grow in maturity every day, I pray that God is preparing both of our hearts for the deepest of friendships with each other. I don't know how we will meet or if we like each other immediately or it will take some time for us to fall in love, but I know that whichever way it happens to be, we are going to need that foundation of friendship for our relationship to last through the fights and struggles that life throws at us. I'm going to be in this marriage for the long haul and I intend for us to be the cute old couples who still hold each other's hand on walks through the park when we are 80 and are more in love with each other than ever before. And I know that in order to get to that place God needs to be working in our hearts and minds to prepare us for the day we meet one another.
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
Today was my cousin's wedding and I was flooded with a mix of emotions. One, I'm so happy for my cousin as he found a best friend to spend the rest of his life with. Two, I was sad that you weren't there to be my plus one (that sounds nice to have a plus one to invite to things) and meet some of my extended relatives. Three, it just made me think a lot about marriage in general and our wedding day.
But, honestly, the thing that stood out the most to me was how it made me think about friendship. And this is what I prayed for you today. That you know the importance of surrounding yourself with friends who are there for you and who know how to encourage you in your walk with God and who aren't afraid of calling you out when you are heading down the wrong path. We all need those people in our lives who will challenge us, make us better people, inspire us to pursue our dreams, encourage us when we need it the most, and make us laugh so hard we cry. I pray that you have such wise and caring mentors and friends in your life right now!
I pray that as you grow older you have also discovered how to be a good friend. That is just as important if not more so than having good friends. I want you to be my best friend and partner in crime! This is one of my biggest wishes and desires for you, my future husband. As we grow in maturity every day, I pray that God is preparing both of our hearts for the deepest of friendships with each other. I don't know how we will meet or if we like each other immediately or it will take some time for us to fall in love, but I know that whichever way it happens to be, we are going to need that foundation of friendship for our relationship to last through the fights and struggles that life throws at us. I'm going to be in this marriage for the long haul and I intend for us to be the cute old couples who still hold each other's hand on walks through the park when we are 80 and are more in love with each other than ever before. And I know that in order to get to that place God needs to be working in our hearts and minds to prepare us for the day we meet one another.
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
Letter #11: Healing
Dear Future Husband,
Today I pray for healing for you; more specifically, healing for your spirit and soul. Often times I blame the world or society or fill-in-the-blank for all of the pain that I have gone through so far in my life. Although this is true that we live in a broken world full of broken people and it does cause pain, I forget that I have also caused myself pain. This is the direct result of me choosing the path that was never intended to be mine. I deliberately chose the path that provided temporary immediate satisfaction to my earthly body instead of choosing the path that is life-giving and will provide true and lasting satisfaction. I don't know if you have gone through many heartbreaks and heartaches in your life, but I sincerely hope and pray that if you have then you haven't let bitterness seep through to your core of your being. I am guilty of allowing this in my life and even now I need God's help in removing the root of bitterness from my heart that I have allowed to grow there. I have found that this root to be damaging towards relationships and I do not want that to be the case with ours. I cannot undo what has happened in my life but I can beg God for forgiveness, healing, and restoration. I want the same for you, so if you are struggling right now with a broken relationship or any other sort of pain that has happened in the past, I pray that God would begin the healing process in your soul! I want that freedom to be yours as well as mine!
As I was driving home tonight, God put on a glorious sunset and it gave me such hope, just seeing the beauty of it and just knowing that there is something pure and right in this world still. As I gazed at it I felt like God had put on an extra special display just for me to remind me that he is "El-Roi" or "The God who sees me". He knows what I have been through and what will be and yet He takes the time to show me His unfailing love through the simplest of moments. I found comfort in knowing that He is good! I hope you find comfort in knowing that as well and that you find the healing that you need as we both wait for the time that God has seen fit for us to meet!
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
Today I pray for healing for you; more specifically, healing for your spirit and soul. Often times I blame the world or society or fill-in-the-blank for all of the pain that I have gone through so far in my life. Although this is true that we live in a broken world full of broken people and it does cause pain, I forget that I have also caused myself pain. This is the direct result of me choosing the path that was never intended to be mine. I deliberately chose the path that provided temporary immediate satisfaction to my earthly body instead of choosing the path that is life-giving and will provide true and lasting satisfaction. I don't know if you have gone through many heartbreaks and heartaches in your life, but I sincerely hope and pray that if you have then you haven't let bitterness seep through to your core of your being. I am guilty of allowing this in my life and even now I need God's help in removing the root of bitterness from my heart that I have allowed to grow there. I have found that this root to be damaging towards relationships and I do not want that to be the case with ours. I cannot undo what has happened in my life but I can beg God for forgiveness, healing, and restoration. I want the same for you, so if you are struggling right now with a broken relationship or any other sort of pain that has happened in the past, I pray that God would begin the healing process in your soul! I want that freedom to be yours as well as mine!
As I was driving home tonight, God put on a glorious sunset and it gave me such hope, just seeing the beauty of it and just knowing that there is something pure and right in this world still. As I gazed at it I felt like God had put on an extra special display just for me to remind me that he is "El-Roi" or "The God who sees me". He knows what I have been through and what will be and yet He takes the time to show me His unfailing love through the simplest of moments. I found comfort in knowing that He is good! I hope you find comfort in knowing that as well and that you find the healing that you need as we both wait for the time that God has seen fit for us to meet!
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Letter #10: 40 days of prayer
Dear Future Husband,
While it's been a while since I last wrote you a letter, I've been wrestling with the overwhelming possibility of never being married. I had to come to grips with it because it was and still is a possibility. At first I was devastated and fought with God a lot over this because it was not in my plan for my life. That thought was not in my game plan or even been considered. After kicking, screaming, pouting and whining I finally realized what was wrong with this picture. It was me. I never thought and I had not considered. This was all according to me. And that was what needed to be changed. I needed to give up control and the absolute need to have a husband before God could use me at all or mold me into the woman after His own Heart. So after much wrestling with God about this issue (and I'll admit that I am still struggling with it) I finally gained a peace most of the time with it.
Then a couple of weeks ago I had a gentle nudge in my heart to start praying for you. I can't explain it. I tried to explain it away thinking that I was just on my period or that my cousin who is also my best friend was getting married and I was feeling left out yet again. So for a while I did nothing about it. But the feeling kept getting stronger. And I decided that I would do it: I would pray for you for 40 days, which started yesterday. I am also going to be praying for myself as well because I can honestly say that I need a lot of work before I can say that I am ready to be a wife. Just to clarify that I'm not expecting to meet you during these 40 days or even anytime soon after that. I don't envision that happening or think that 40 is some magic number that will cause you to appear because it won't. All I want to do is pray for you and me during this time.
My prayer for you today is that you are striving to become a more godly man. I pray that you are making godly decisions and always looking to God for every one of them. I am praying the same thing for myself as well today, that every decision I make will not only be honoring to God but also to you whoever you may be.
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
While it's been a while since I last wrote you a letter, I've been wrestling with the overwhelming possibility of never being married. I had to come to grips with it because it was and still is a possibility. At first I was devastated and fought with God a lot over this because it was not in my plan for my life. That thought was not in my game plan or even been considered. After kicking, screaming, pouting and whining I finally realized what was wrong with this picture. It was me. I never thought and I had not considered. This was all according to me. And that was what needed to be changed. I needed to give up control and the absolute need to have a husband before God could use me at all or mold me into the woman after His own Heart. So after much wrestling with God about this issue (and I'll admit that I am still struggling with it) I finally gained a peace most of the time with it.
Then a couple of weeks ago I had a gentle nudge in my heart to start praying for you. I can't explain it. I tried to explain it away thinking that I was just on my period or that my cousin who is also my best friend was getting married and I was feeling left out yet again. So for a while I did nothing about it. But the feeling kept getting stronger. And I decided that I would do it: I would pray for you for 40 days, which started yesterday. I am also going to be praying for myself as well because I can honestly say that I need a lot of work before I can say that I am ready to be a wife. Just to clarify that I'm not expecting to meet you during these 40 days or even anytime soon after that. I don't envision that happening or think that 40 is some magic number that will cause you to appear because it won't. All I want to do is pray for you and me during this time.
My prayer for you today is that you are striving to become a more godly man. I pray that you are making godly decisions and always looking to God for every one of them. I am praying the same thing for myself as well today, that every decision I make will not only be honoring to God but also to you whoever you may be.
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
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