Dear Future Husband,
Do you ever feel like you become the worst version of yourself? There are moments that you hear yourself complaining or whining or gossiping and then you think to yourself 'what am I doing'? That you wish that you could retract that statement or snide comment that has just exposed the ugliness that you have tried to keep hidden within? But that darkness refuses to stay hidden. You always know that it is there and it's a constant struggle to make sure that the light is what others see and not the worst part of yourself. During these times it's like I am watching myself through a window and hearing the words coming from my mouth and wanting to yell "Stop!". How could I say such mean things like that about someone? How could I ever complain about the blessings that God has given me because I think things should be a certain way, more specifically my way? I know you know what I am talking about; it's the scenarios that you constantly replay in your head of how you would react differently or what you would say differently if that specific situation were to present itself again.
As I sit here in my living room contemplating one of these scenarios, I have been pondering the purpose behind all of these times. I have come to realize that it is during times of reflection like this that I start to realize how much I truly need God and His Forgiveness and Grace and Mercy to live out my daily life. If I don't have anything that I am struggling with like a temptation or a hard situation, it is so easy for me to believe that I am capable of living apart from God and that He is just a lifeline when I get into some trouble. I truly believe that these situations are designed to make us aware (once again) of our complete and utter need for a daily reliance on God.
Anyways all that to say, I am praying for you today that you are seeking God every single day and leaning on Him every step of the way. I hope that whatever you are currently going through you are turning to Him for all the strength that you need instead of your own. I pray that you think before you speak and only use your words to build others up and not tear them down. I pray that you would be a huge blessing to everyone you come into contact with every single day. And finally I pray your entire life would point others to God and glorify Him!
Forever and always faithfully yours,
Your Future Wife
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